How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
