My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
