The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
