You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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