omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
