I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
