I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude i'm inner monologue high
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
