Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
