worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
