Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
