Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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