she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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