I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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