Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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