talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm really busy with my period
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