He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
