JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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