i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize