My room smells like vodka and shame
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
