I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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