Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
