i don't like sucking hair
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
