think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
