i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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