There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
