he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
