The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
