youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I wish i was in the wii world.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize