Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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