I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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