A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
