he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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