also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
