There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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