My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
