office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
