We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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