yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
