dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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