I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize