1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
