i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
