Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
