you're like a bully in the Christmas story
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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