i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
