i permit you to call me
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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