Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
