My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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