State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just want to make out with him forever
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
