I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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