I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
