I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
