some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
