I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Randomize
