Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
