There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
