i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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