I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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