"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
