Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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