Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
