VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
