Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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