so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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