I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
